I have been in love with my friend for the past 6 years. Minimum. He knows it, yet we are still friends. I used to and sometimes still think it strange, but it has become our thing. We definitely don't discuss it, we only spoke about it once when I brought it up 5 years ago. We talked about it for all of 5 seconds (i'm not exaggerating),-I couldnt see the need to continue since it was apparent he didn't feel the same way.There are days I wish we had spoken, and other days, I appreciate the fact that had it been a longer discussion, I might have embarrassed myself further so it feels like a blessing that it ended the way it did. Over the years, we have become closer as friends, yet the distance grows. I stopped hugging him hello a couple of years ago (feels too awkward), accidental brushes against skin bring out defenses normally reserved for criminal trials, every contact reminds of love lost.
Yet we are friends. We share laughs, the latest goss, and our undying love for bollywood films. What makes it work? I don't know, it could be a million things. Effort, care, common interests, etc.
What makes it painful?
The fact that I love him more than any person I know. The fact that I still have hope our friendship will turn into a love story.The fact I know it wont ever.
5 comments:
Awww, I'm sorry, hun! That's amazing to me that you were able to stay friends with him, if it were me, I don't think I'd have the strength. But I hope your friendship isn't preventing you from moving on! Be careful is all I am saying. I can see that you're in a difficult situation because you care, but don't want to care too much. I'm sorry, Dash!
PS. The banner looks great, and I love the fonts for your post headings!
Just stopping by to say hi!
I loved reading through this post! Your blog is so gorgeous. :)
thank you for sharing that vulnerable moment/story of your life...he needs to sit down and talk about it, you both do..because what is going on is not fair to YOU. it sounds very painful. :/ you gotta watch out for yourself.
Hope you can check out my blog for some +vibes and inspiration! I am also hosting a cute giveaway (handmade flower ring+$20 gift certifcate). blessings.
I know how you feel. I've been through that too...but could never share it the way you did.
Keep writing and have fun along the way...Love the blog.
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