I am terrified of conflicts. To illustrate, here's a story.Two cats which live in my neighbourhood, constantly fight each other. They are adorable creatures by themselves, but when they meet, they are as fierce as tigers. I'm not joking. They literally engage in face offs, tear each others skins off but mainly try and murder each other. Like I said, serious business. Every time I walk up/down my street, I pray to a higher power so we dont cross paths. Such is my fear of confrontations. Cat confrantations included.
I shy away from confrontations, mainly because I despise having tension in the room. I need life to be a party. Like happy days, every day. There are many issues in my life that I have learnt to ignore or simply let go because of this.
My weight has been an easy target for jokes or comments from my family for more than 18 years. Like I do not kid you, every 4 minutes, and its time to comment on Dash's weight. I never really confronted anyone or told them it was mean and hateful all along. I never was going to anyway. All was going well.
Yesterday, as my siblings and I were watching Biggest Loser on tv, my older sister passed a comment that it was going to be REALLY difficult for me to lose weight, as not only was I fat, I was lazy.
Cue Dash. After 18 years, I blew up. The rage I held in for too long burst out and I let her know that she was being rude and arrogant, and that it was not nice in ANY country to spit out hateful comments. Which was more than enough for her to blow up. She told me she was sick of me being fat and being an embarassment to her. Long story short, the fight went on for about an hour.
I regret the manner I told her how I felt, but strangely I am overjoyed that I let it out after so many years. I am overjoyed that I stood up for myself, for once. I wasn't going to be bullied so we all live in pretend Utopia.
I dont know how to deal with this. She sees her taunting as motivation for me to lose the weight. Even though she has been told otherwise. In my opinion, its a bad habit she is defending so she will not have to deal with it.
But I suppose I have to learn to deal. She is not about to change her principals, so I guess it has to be me.
Ah, to be siblings, yet still SANE!
I shy away from confrontations, mainly because I despise having tension in the room. I need life to be a party. Like happy days, every day. There are many issues in my life that I have learnt to ignore or simply let go because of this.
My weight has been an easy target for jokes or comments from my family for more than 18 years. Like I do not kid you, every 4 minutes, and its time to comment on Dash's weight. I never really confronted anyone or told them it was mean and hateful all along. I never was going to anyway. All was going well.
Yesterday, as my siblings and I were watching Biggest Loser on tv, my older sister passed a comment that it was going to be REALLY difficult for me to lose weight, as not only was I fat, I was lazy.
Cue Dash. After 18 years, I blew up. The rage I held in for too long burst out and I let her know that she was being rude and arrogant, and that it was not nice in ANY country to spit out hateful comments. Which was more than enough for her to blow up. She told me she was sick of me being fat and being an embarassment to her. Long story short, the fight went on for about an hour.
I regret the manner I told her how I felt, but strangely I am overjoyed that I let it out after so many years. I am overjoyed that I stood up for myself, for once. I wasn't going to be bullied so we all live in pretend Utopia.
I dont know how to deal with this. She sees her taunting as motivation for me to lose the weight. Even though she has been told otherwise. In my opinion, its a bad habit she is defending so she will not have to deal with it.
But I suppose I have to learn to deal. She is not about to change her principals, so I guess it has to be me.
Ah, to be siblings, yet still SANE!
