Of Thank You Notes and Promising Tommorrows

So here we are. I an pleased to admit that I am in a much better place from my last post (yeay!) and am taking one day at a time.Thank you all for your lovely comments, it means the world to me, and I cannot thank you enough. But thank you again. I love you all.

Tommorrow, I am starting a new job ( I decided to forego my very satisfying (not!) , number cruching career in banking and take up a research/teaching offer), and although it is paying less, I have a funny feeling I'll enjoy myself and live a little more. So heres to tommorrow!

Why I Havent Written in a While

I needed the time off. I am not even ready to think of anything at this moment.Ever since the bleak diagnosis, my mind has turned towards little else. I am delving deeper into disbelief, guilt ,shame and an inablility to respond to the current situation. I glanced at my diagnosis sheet 18 days ago and have not gathered the courage to read the whole three pages till now. Everytime a mealtime approaches, I visualise my fatty liver , am instantly disgusted and afraid, yet still am tempted to binge to numb the pain. I manage to resist. Most of the time, at least. I dream of strawberry shortcakes and tiramisu all day long. I sleep to numb pain and thoughts. I have not jogged, walked or performed any form of exercise to counter the problem.

I read inspirational blogs every single day. Mari, the strongest person I have encountered, who despite having unbelievably difficult days, manages to savour and turn each moment into a blessing. Nina, who has the ablity to see beauty in cute mugs, hot summer days, and exercise. Dionne-who is her every reader's sunshine (from what I read in the comments section) and Anu, the spirit who rises up again after every blow thrown her way. All of you, I salute and honour you.

What baffles and defeats me every day is my inability to draw from your strengths. I hope I will soon.

Sifting through the information

I am finally back from the hospital today, and boy was I in for a shock. I initially got admitted for for stomach surgery (really awful gastritis) and found a host of other things including:

1. very VERY high stress levels

2. fat in my liver (which I am told is usually found in people over the age of 45- I am 28)

3. an inflammation in my intestines

4. and high cholestrol levels.

I have been prescribed a drawerful of medication and told to exercise and meditate.

I need to change my lifestyle for myself. Starting now.

ps: Anu, looks like I will be joining you on that no alcohol plan for an indefinite period.

Hospital

Tad nervous today as I am undergoing minor surgery tommorrow. I dont know exactly what I am nervous about though. Its fairly routine for the doctors, I think. Well, I hope. Which means that I probably will be posting more (yeay!) or not posting in a while. I am taking this opportunity to apologise in advance if the latter is the case. On a brighter note, I will be away from work for a few days for some well deserved r&r. If I may say so myself. Till then, darlings!

Retro Reads

Archie proposed to Veronica! Admittedly, throughout the years, the chemistry was undeniably apparent between Archie and Veronica, but I still secretly harboured hoped that he would choose Betty. Sweet, loyal, lovely, gorgeous Betty. Still, congratulations to both Archie and Veronica. From what I read, Jughead is to be the best man, and Veronica intends to ask Betty to be her maid of honour.


I personally think Archie will rethink this proposal, frolic with both girls, for say, another decade or two before making his final decision to get married.


What are your thoughts, girls? Who should Archie have proposed too? Do you think Betty will accept to be the maid of honour? How do you think this will end?